How do you tell your roommate that he or she needs to shower more, without hurting their feelings or creating a conflict? Dr. Fayr Barkley has some good advice.
There are several things to consider before you approach your roommate with a bar of soap. Take into account the closeness of your relationship, cultural differences and emotional sensitivity. “Think in terms of how you would like to hear it from someone,” Dr. Barkley writes for hercampus.com. “The words you would want to hear, the sincerity of the person, the benefits you would want to know about having good hygiene and some points on how to go about making the change.”
There may be other factors at play besides obliviousness. “I have known several people over the years, men and women, who actually use their body odor as a deterrent to making new friends or allowing people to get close to them. It is a way of putting up a wall to keep society away; a sort of boundary against letting the world in.” Barkley even suggests making a gift of some particularly nice shower products.
posted on July 19th, 2010
by Margaret,
Tags: College Advice, college roommate, dorm life, dorm roommate
Posted in Campus Life | 9 Comments »
August 3rd, 2012 at 8:01 am
[...] How to Tell Your Roommate He Smells [...]
July 17th, 2012 at 8:01 am
[...] utilities will only accept one check. Additionally, it’s important to consider usage levels. One roomie may take three showers a day, while the other hogs the TV and the Internet. It may be best to spread the risk and put each [...]
July 27th, 2011 at 12:13 pm
[...] you haven’t had your first conflict with your roommate yet, you eventually will. It’s only normal for arguments to arise while sharing such a tiny [...]
December 27th, 2010 at 11:13 am
[...] How to Tell Your Roommate He Smells [...]
August 9th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
[...] What keeps you from getting out the door? Are you trying to reply to one last e-mail? Is your roommate trying to tell you about his or her latest crush? Is your mom calling incessantly? It’s okay [...]
August 4th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
i would be too embarrassed .
July 28th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Good advice, hard to follow up on….
July 19th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
I had to tell a roommate once that people were talking about her cigarette odor. She had no idea….but she was glad to know. She didn’t quit smoking, but she cleaned up her act with better hair hygiene and dry cleaning stuff more often.
July 19th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
This is why institutional living is difficult–a military barracks would quickly deteriorate into an unacceptable living space except for daily inspections by
drill sergeants and tack officers.